Photo Credit: Cheryl Larkin
Today I spent the morning with a wonderful group of ladies from the Institute For Shamanic Arts and together we made shamanic drums. This is my first drum so it is pretty special to me. It is a 10 inch drum made from deer hide.
I am working on getting better at blogging and sharing my thoughts so I decided to just start doing it. I am starting Thursday’s Thoughts to just share my random thoughts of the previous week.
The 49ers play the Packers this Saturday night for the right to move on to the NFC Championship Game and then on to the Superbowl. It has been far too many years since the Niners have brought home a Superbowl Win and I am so excited about their chances this year. I for one stand behind Coach Harbaugh’s decision to keep Kap in the line up over Smith. I know Smith was having a terrific year, but he was still mainly a game manager and I really think we need more than that to win our 6th Superbowl. No matter what I am proud of the team and thrilled that we have had 2 great years in a row with more to come.
It is interesting how many Facebook Friends are posting spiritual things since I opened up to this new path. I’m not sure if they were posting them all before and I didn’t notice or if they are also opening up to Spirit.
Either way, I am grateful for it. Everyday there seems to be at least 1 post that is so timely for me right now. I am beginning to get a new sense of purpose for Facebook now. I hadn’t been spending much time there at all for months before my rebirth, but now I actually enjoy checking in to see what terrific things are being posted.
During December 2012 I managed to do three Fire Ceremonies at home. I had done a few with Giselle when I went up to see her and last time I was there she suggested that I start doing them at home.
I had told my family that I was going to start doing these with the first being on 12-12-12, which was a good thing because on 12-12-12 I was in bed sick and had been for a few days. My dad called me that day and asked if I was going to do the ceremony and I told him I wasn’t sure since I was feeling so sick. Apparently he told my mom who then called my sister and about 6pm my sister came into my bedroom and said, “Let’s go do your fire ceremony”.
With the help of my sister (Tina) I went out to do the first fire ceremony of my own. My niece (Tawneey) and my daughter (Blythe) joined us too which was really nice. It was a quick ceremony but I am so grateful that my family is so supportive of my path. I am thankful they came and gave me that push I needed to go do what I wanted to do.
Things were pretty intense a few weekends ago when I saw Giselle and the intensity has not subsided since I got home. I has been a tough few weeks for me. I have been home sick in bed for the last week. It is not the flu but I am not sure what it is. There is some sort of virus going around so it could be that.
I think whatever it is, it is affecting me more because of how intensely I seem to be feeling things lately. I have always been able to feel energy but all the work Giselle and I have been doing has been opening me up and I believe I am feeling the effects of that.
I have been up and down. I am feeling awfully weak physically and emotionally right now but that is not too surprising considering the week it has been fighting this illness.
I believe there is a fine line between crazy and sane and happy and depressed and I think I am walking that line in both cases. Some days I sway more to one side and other days I sway towards the other side.
There are some days where I have such clarity and then the next day I am fogged in confusion. I am trying to just let all these things flow and being conscious to not spend too much energy trying to figure it all out.
The question of why I am doing this, following this path, came up this weekend. Is it about me or am I doing it so I can serve others. I am not sure if I was clear in my answer, so I thought I would address it here and put my answer out into the Universe.
In short, it is all about me. True, I would love to learn what I can and someday serve others, but if that was not an option, I would still be doing what I am doing and learning what I am learning.
I lived the majority of my life up til now, being who I thought other people expected me to be. I sacrificed a lot and stiffled a lot to please others.
Somewhere along the way I lost sight of Cheryl. I got so used to ignoring the inner voices and doing just enough to convince myself that I was being true to me.