Photo By Cheryl Larkin
As the days go by and the winds blows my mind is constatnly running and changing. I thought I had things under control and had reached the point where I no longer would allow my mind to control me but I can see now that I still have some work to do in that area.
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Well this one sure is a biggie for me. I have a feeling the aswer to this question would change depeding on where I am at when I read it. It is certainly something I could ponder though, even though I won’t.
Another week passes by. They seem to go pretty fast lately. I wonder if that is becuase I have a few things to look forward to in the next month. Myabe it is just the way time works. Who knows. here are my thoughts today.
Well my Niners sure made a good move and got what I believe is a steal. They traded a 6th round draft pick to the Ravens for Anquain Boldin. Call me crazy, but I think it is crazy for a team to trade a huge reason they just won the Superbowl and especially for such a low pick.
I know, it is a business and you need to make tough decisions and I know Boldin refused to take a pay cut, but still. I am thrilled for it, though, because I belive my Niners just got a lot tougher. Boldin still has a few good years left in him and he can snatch that ball out of the air with CB’s drapped all over him. Kaepernick must be jumping for joy.
I overslept yesterday morning by 10 minutes and started freaking out. I was worried about getting to work later than usual. I would not be late to work as I usually get there 30 minutes early because I take my daughter to school. So I was freaking out over nothing.
I kept thinking about my general routine that I go through when I get to work and worrying that I wouldn’t be able to do it all before clocking in. I could feel my blood running faster and in my head I was running faster trying to make up those damn 10 minutes.
What all this made me realize is that I need to let go of routines and just go with the flow. When I finally got to work I stepped out back, and took a moment to breathe and slow myself down. I thought about how enjoyable those 10 extra minutes of sleep were.
It has now been 5 months since my rebirth, since my life changed, since I truly became open to changing, since I became truly aquainted with Spirit, Mother Earth and the Universe, since I realized I am a Spiritual Being having a Human experience.
I learn something new every day, or maybe I am just really accepting what I already know. I felt such a huge change in my life after the rebirth and I thought I was on easy street. I realize know how silly that thought was because I have certainly had quite a few struggles in the last 5 months.
I know that every struggle is important and is needed for my growth. Recently I feel like I am coming out of the fog. I thought I came out of the fog before but maybe the fog just got thiner. Even after the rebirth, I still spent a lot of time in my head. I spent a lot of energy thinking about the past and the future.