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Wow 2016!

Grand Canyon 2016
Photo by Me, Cheryl Larkin

Wow! I cannot believe that 2016 is already half over. I apologize for my absence. 2016 has already been quite a ride for me and keeping up with my blog and social media and my spiritual growth and painting and so much has gotten buried in the craziness of life. Not an excuse, and surely not what I want. It just took me a while to realize that was what was happening.

The photo above is one I took in April 2016 when I was hiking along he edge of the Grand Canyon. That was two days after I did some hiking in Sedona, AZ. That was the trip that opened my eyes and my heart to the fact that I had lost myself in the craziness of life, and I knew that I had to snap out of it and get back to what truly fills me wih joy.
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Sometimes Darkness Helps You See

Photo By Me, Cheryl Larkin

I had a bit of a melt down the last few days. It has been building for a while, I think and it finally exploded. I was really down and feeling unappreciated in every aspect of my life. I did a lot of crying and moping.

The weird thing is that even through the tears I was still able to look at nature and smile. It was a strange feeling being able to smile even when I was feeling so down. It was like I was two people, connected but separate with all the emotions flowing through both sides.
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Letting Go Or Just Accepting

Photo by me, Cheryl Larkin

Sometimes letting go is really more about accepting what was always there. When you belive something is a particular way it certainly helps guide your thoughts and actions. As I am frowing into the true me I am realizing that some things that I am fighting to let go of are really just illusions that I have believed for so long they seem real to me.

The more I fight letting go, the more I see that all I really need to do is accept how things have always been without my rose colored glasses. I am not sure if that makes it easier but it does make me realize that I don”t really need to let go. I guess it is all about my perception.
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Close up wet rose
Photo by me, Cheryl Larkin

This is part of me working at sharing my thoughts more even when I do not really know what I want to share. Work the last few days has been brutal. It has been very hot and also humid which is not something I am used to. It has also been bery physical. Lots of heavy lifting and moving around a bunch of furniture.

The thing about work being brutal and draining me and whiping me out is that it does not allow for much thinking. I mean, sure I think about people and things but I do not have the time or the energy to dwell on things. For me, dwelling n stuff has always been an issue, but I have gotten much better in the last few years.
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I Realized

Cloudy Sky
Photo By Me, Cheryl Larkin

I have been absent for quite a while now and am finally coming out of the dreary routine of simply exsisting and getting back to doing what I want and what I love.

I finally realized that I fell right into that trap of routine, going to work, coming home, sleeping, etc. You know what I am talking about. It is easy to get pulled into that trap and I was pulled in hard this time.
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