I guess it is hard to say where the Truth leads for each individual but for me it seems to be leading right into crazy town or it has already gotten me there.
I know many people say that any kind of spiritual awakening can be a very tough thing to go through and there is a fine line between awakening and brainwashing. I am on that line right now.
My friends and family are all in agreement that since my last retreat I have spiraled right into crazy town. The scary thing for me and I suppose everyone else, is that I don’t see it. They can show me examples of the craziness and I still don’t see it.
Somewhere, someway, somehow I have got to find a way out and to right myself again. I am stuck in the middle of what was and what can be with no real idea how to go forward or backwards. And right now either option would be better than remaining stuck.
The part of me that refuses to give up is fading. I just don’t know how much fight I have left in me. I don’t know where this leaves me or where this is taking me. I am trying to gain control back when I believed I was never in control in the first place.
If only I could go back in time and make a different choice. OF course, I suppose there are some who would say this is all happening as it should and it is simply perfect. At this moment, I am not one of those people.