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Where I Go

Natalie Merchant is one of my favorite singer/songwriters. This song, Where I Go has been my happy place song since I first heard it in 1995. Listening to this song just puts me in a very relaxed and peaceful state.

It is interesting because the happy place Where I go in meditation or visualization or whatever has always been sitting under a tree next to a river.

The really funny thing is that it took me years after hearing the song over and over again to put two and two together and realize that the song was all about my meditation happy place. I admit it, I am dense.

Once I realized the connection the song took on an even more deep meaning for me and now has my own slide show to go with it and when I meditate there is now a soundtrack to go with it. It is truly amazing.

I even sent the song to my sister-in-law and asked her to paint me a picture to match it. That painting now hangs in my living room so I see it everytime I walk in my house.

It is interesting to me to look back realize that ever since I was a child the riverside has always been a happy place for me and now it has turned into a longing for me. I realize I am meant to live near a river so Where I Go can no longer just be in my mind.

Growing up I did live near a river, but it only had water when we got a lot of rain in the mountians. It is a big river that is amazing without or without water and I spent most of my youth hanging out in and around that river.

I remember standing on the riverbank of the Rillito River watching the rushing waters and houses and debris floating down the river during the flood of 1983. Then one of my brother’s friends grabbed me and pulled me back just as the ground under me fell away and got washed down the river.

It was after that flood that the sides of the river got concreted to avoid the same kind of damage again. Now this is a pretty big river and my happy place is a smaller river, but it is still amazing to realize all of this coming together.

To add more fuel to the meant to be fire, during my first retreat with Giselle we went down to the river near her house and she baptised me with the river water. That was a truly amazing experience that now has the river water running through my veins.

Since I have learned the Truth and See Ultimate Freedom, the longing that has been buried in me to live near a small river has floated right up to the surface. Of course in my dreams the small river runs right through my backyard.

I sincerely hope that it is in my future to find that perfect house near that perfect river and spend the rest of my days there. But if not, I still have my happy place in this song, the painting, meditation and my story.

And it is perfect either way.

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