The question of why I am doing this, following this path, came up this weekend. Is it about me or am I doing it so I can serve others. I am not sure if I was clear in my answer, so I thought I would address it here and put my answer out into the Universe.
In short, it is all about me. True, I would love to learn what I can and someday serve others, but if that was not an option, I would still be doing what I am doing and learning what I am learning.
I lived the majority of my life up til now, being who I thought other people expected me to be. I sacrificed a lot and stiffled a lot to please others.
Somewhere along the way I lost sight of Cheryl. I got so used to ignoring the inner voices and doing just enough to convince myself that I was being true to me.
I feel so weak, so strong
It’s the wildest ride I’ve ever been on
– Radney Foster (Sure Feels Right)
I went up to see Giselle again this past weekend and WOW, What A Wild Ride it was. This whole journey sure is something else. It was intense, and emotional, and beautiful, and simply magical.
Not sure if Giselle would totally agree with me and I am pretty sure utterly energetically draining would be on her list. Bless her heart for putting up with me and allowing me to go down whatever road I need to go down and holding sacred space for me no matter how it affects her.
How truly blessed I am to have this magical woman in my life, guiding me. Even when guiding means helping me stay upright while belting out Cabaret with such pure joy and emotion! What a beautiful moment that was.
She told me this weekend that I have been awfully kind and generous with my words on the blog about her and I told her she gives me reason to be. I guess it is a two way street.
One of the aspects to the Shaman Path that has intrigued me and inspired me is the Soul or Spirit Healing. Again, I think there are many views on what exactly this pertains but I think most agree that in general, A Shaman travels to the Spirit Realm and works with Spirits to perform healing’s for those in the physical realm.
I obviously have much more leaning and understanding to do before I can even think about wearing the healing hat, but it is something that I really want to do. I love the thought of being able to serve others in that way.
Since it is one of the things I am looking forward to, I have been doing quite a bit of research on it. During my research I came across this article that shed an entirely new light on the whole process for me. I know that when I get to the point where I can offer this service, what I learned from this article will come into play.
Last week I woke up in the middle of the night with terrible lower back pain. I was eventually able to go back to sleep but didn’t sleep well. When I awoke the next morning I still had the back pain. It was worse than any back pain I have ever had before.
I had a doctors appointment already scheduled for the following day so I decided to just grin and bear it until the next day. It was a miserable day and when I got home I was talking to Tawneey and she suggested I take a hot bath. Thant sounded like a terrific idea to me so I did just that.
I sunk into that wonderfully relaxing water and closed my eyes and let it all just wash away. I relaxed so much that I was unaware of the pain. I was so peaceful and warm. It was glorious.
Then I heard a faint voice trying to get my attention. I ignored it for a little bit but then it sounded like it was pleading. I opened my eyes but saw no one. I thought maybe I was hearing voices from outside but that wasn’t it. Then I heard the voice again.
This is a continuation of a previous post so you might want to go back and read Coincidences? Maybe Not – Part 1 if you haven’t read it already.
I need to backtrack a little here just to say that I had a trip planned to Laughlin for my birthday with my twin sister and I had to cancel that when I was laid off. We had planned to go to Laughlin on September 25th and return on September 29th.
Now I am back from my trip to Sedona with Diana and my sister and I have decided we would still hang out for our birthday, even though we had to cancel our trip to Laughlin. We talked about getting a hotel here in town or just hanging out at my house for the weekend after our birthday. Our birthday is September 26th so we were thinking the weekend of the 28th would be a good time for us to hang out.
As I stated in an earlier post, I had been emailing Giselle about a Private Shamanic Retreat that she does. She told me about it and then said September 29th would be a perfect time for it because of the moon that night.